tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30504547833292062382024-03-13T22:33:30.188-07:00It Takes VillagesThis blog is to keep dear friends and family up to date with William's cancer diagnosis and document our growth as a family. We also acknowledge we are not in this alone and recognize the villages that are caring for us, supporting us, and loving us. We are so thankful for our villages of doctors, nurses, family, friends, church members, neighbors, team members, coworkers, teachers, angels...Juliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12693900768195528953noreply@blogger.comBlogger244125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3050454783329206238.post-13646700648805076242013-01-18T11:36:00.000-08:002013-01-18T11:36:08.471-08:00A Place in our HeartsI've sat down and tried to write this blog so many times. Sometimes I have no words. Sometimes I want the task of writing it down to be done. Sometimes I sit at the screen and cry. Okay, I cry every time. Sometimes I want to make sure I record the fun things we've done as a family since William's death, but then I cry because this blog has been about the things we have done <i>with </i>him<i>,</i> not <i>without </i>him<i>. </i>It's hard to feel like we've done things without him because we think of him constantly every day. Not a day has gone by without thoughts and memories flooding back of him.<br />
<br />
William's Celebration of Life was everything I had hoped it to be and
more. My wonderful family, dear friends, and new friends helped make
the music, the program, the flowers, the display
tables...everything...just perfect. There was such a spirit of happiness
that overwhelmed the sorrow. I wish I had recorded the service,
especially the music. It was magnificent. Simply magnificent. I know
William was beaming as he listened to it and watched those he loves
honor him. Thank you for all the kind and thoughtful cards and gifts. The sweet expressions of love and testimony have touched and buoyed us.<br />
<br />
About
a week after his services, we took the boys to So. Cal for the annual
family reunion with my family. Balboa is one of William's favorite
places on earth. We were able to make him a special part of the reunion
by going to the Newport Beach Temple for him. Ryan's parent's flew out
for the day and it was comforting to sit in the beautiful, peaceful
temple with our parents and most of my siblings and feel his joy,
knowing we will one day be together again. But the vacation wasn't as
healing as Ryan and I had hoped it would be. It was too soon and we
cried ourselves to sleep each night, overwhelmed by our seemingly
conflicting emotions. With all the stress of planning his services,
reality hadn't hit. It was so painful to return home, knowing he wasn't there and that every thing we thought was normal suddenly wasn't. <br />
<br />
The boys seem to be doing well. We talk about William often. But children's emotions are very static and their grief can be exhibited through seemingly unrelated things. So we are constantly vigilant in assessing their emotions. Clark is naturally a very sensitive boy and his emotional highs and lows are more intense than the other boys, but he is so tender and sweet. We worry about him the most because he was closest with William and he is the only one who will probably have memories of William before he got cancer. One day while driving in the car with the boys, the twins were complaining that they wanted a play date. I jokingly told them they had each other and were their own built-in play date. They weren't too thrilled with that response. Without missing a beat, Clark responded, "Yeah, but we all know what happened to my built-in play date." My heart just sank. Then we talked frankly about how unfair that is and that we are all sad he lost his built-in play date. The boys pray every day "Please bless that William is having a good day in Heaven. " I
know he is, but even knowing that doesn't stop the tears. It doesn't
numb the pain of separation. It doesn't fill the hole in my heart that
physically aches. Some days are better than others, but we make it
through each one...one day at a time.<br />
<br />
My mothering instinct still senses someone is
missing when I try to make sure I know my children are all safe. Panic sets in momentarily. Then I actually count the heads and realize my four boys are
all there.<i> </i>I take a deep breath and try to hold back the tears. The car doesn't feel full without him, the kitchen
table feels strange with a chair missing, his bedroom is so quiet, and I
still instinctively count to seven when setting the table. One
afternoon I called Clark "William". It caught me off guard and then it made me
happy because his name still rolled off my tongue. Then it struck me
that it would stop being so.<br />
<br />
When asked how many
children I have, I have to pause and quickly figure out what I'm supposed to say to a question that should be so simple. Now it's complicated. Am I betraying him or myself if I say four? I don't always want to share with strangers. And usually I'm not prepared with waterproof mascara!<br />
<br />
The grief we've felt has been like nothing I could have imagined. A friend who suffered a sudden loss shortly after William's passing described her grief as incapacitating. That's how I have felt. Ryan and I both find it difficult just to do the normal daily tasks that are expected for survival. Of course, our sweet boys keep us going, but sometimes I just have to tell myself that my only responsibility today is to provide dinner, in any form I can muster... cold cereal, In-N-Out, left-overs, frozen yogurt! Yes, I took my kids out for frozen yogurt one night and we called it dinner. There were no complaints!<br />
<br />
Now it's been almost eight months. We've hit some milestones: his 11th birthday in November, several holidays, anniversaries of fun trips, anniversaries of bad news, birthdays of his best friends.... Emotions are barely tucked beneath the surface. But I let myself cry everyday if I need to. And I smile too when I remember the many wonderful memories we made as a family and the many little miracles granted.<br />
<br />
Ryan comes from a family with a couple generations of mental health professionals. We have been very aware of trying to maintain our mental health. The boys all participated in various forms of play therapy through school and a private therapist. They also were part of an art therapy study for siblings of bone marrow transplant patients. They are now participating in a bereavement art therapy group. They love it and appear to be thriving. We went to Camp Okizu as a family during a weekend session for bereaved families only. I was apprehensive about going to this camp and sharing with a bunch of families. Camp Okizu is magical. It is probably the most healing thing we have done. Ryan and I met with 3 other sets of parents in a discussion group format. It was healing and comforting to be able to talk with others who knew exactly how we were feeling and helped validate so many emotions. The boys all had a blast being boys in the outdoors and making new friends.<br />
<br />
The second most healing thing we are doing is meeting with a bereavement counselor. Ryan and I meet with him together about every three weeks or so. And he comes to our home!! That, by itself, is a gift. I am so burned out of traveling to appointments. Ryan and I have definitely felt disconnected as we both grieve in our own ways. We understand this and are supportive of one another, but it doesn't make it easy. Being able to talk with the counselor helps us be able to express thoughts and feelings and feel validated with the wide range of emotions that surface during our sessions. He helps us see our progress too. And we are making progress.<br />
<br />
I recently started reading a book my aunt and uncle gave me titled, "A
Perfect Brightness of Hope" by David S. Baxter. I have been touched by
some of the things he points out. He cites Paul in the Bible, "let the
peace of God rule in your hearts...and be ye thankful" (Colossians 3:15). He explains, "In other
words, we must allow the peace of God to have place in our hearts. Some
remain without hope because they close their hearts and minds to the
peace the gospel brings. We have to allow the Holy Ghost, the Comforter,
to whisper peace to our souls. We have to be willing to refrain from
shutting our minds and locking our hearts to the blessings of peace
which, in turn engender hope."<br />
<br />
I am an optimist. I know this. I can't help it. I watched a lot of Pollyanna as a child! :) I have prayed at times to really know where William is and that he's okay. Every time I do this I realize I already do know. I feel peaceful and full of hope. I know he is with our Heavenly Father. I know he is close by and is happy. I know he is needed to work on God's purposes in heaven and he is anxiously waiting to be reunited with us just as we are anxiously waiting to be reunited with him. One common thread we have found with other families who have lost children, regardless of their religious convictions, is a deep hope in a loving God, his purposes, and a reunion in heaven one day. Even in some of my darkest moments, I have felt peace and love and joy in knowing God's plan is truly a plan that brings happiness not heartache.<br />
<br />
I want to share an experience I had with William that I have already shared with close friends and family in hopes that it brings comfort. In October 2011, we went to Disneyland to celebrate the anticipated declaration of remission. While we were in Anaheim, William began experiencing some symptoms that landed us in an LA hospital for a few days. While we were there, after several tests, it became evident that the cancer had returned. Upon returning home, William was admitted to the hospital for further tests and to begin a new regimen of chemotherapy. We always talked with William openly about his disease and his treatments. We never wanted him to be afraid or think we were keeping secrets from him. On one of the first nights back at the hospital, while getting ready for bed, I snuggled in next to him, knowing I needed to explain to him what was going on and why. We whispered our tender conversation so as not to disturb our roommate. I asked him if he understood what was happening. He did. I added that since it came back so quickly and aggressively it would be harder to get rid of since he never officially made it into remission. He looked at me and whispered, "Am I going to die?" With tears welling up in my eyes I whispered, "It is possible, but we are going to keep fighting and praying." His response surprised me. "I had a dream I died from cancer. I was happy and with Jesus. I had my own room when I died. You missed me a lot, but you left my room as it was for a long time and you put pictures of me around the house to remember me." He explained he had his dream a few days before Disneyland. In that moment, with whispering voices, I held him close, told him how much I loved him and tried to hide the tears. That sweet boy demonstrated so much peace and was so accepting of the many crummy things he had to endure. In later conversations about death when we knew it was soon to be his eventuality, he calmly and with so much maturity said, "Sometimes old people die. Sometime babies and kids die. Some people die from cancer and some people die and we don't even know why." We always assured him that we would always keep fighting. Even if the way we fight has to change.<br />
<br />
It is comforting when people still remember William and tell us about it. We love to talk about him and share memories. He feels a little closer knowing others think of him often too. If you
have a favorite memory or two of William please feel free to write it
down for us so we can remember it too. It makes it feel like he is not gone in some ways. And really, he's not. He will always overflow a place in our hearts. Juliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12693900768195528953noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3050454783329206238.post-46925368777924951672012-06-08T09:15:00.000-07:002012-06-08T09:17:40.902-07:00Favorite YouTubesEvidently the Angry Birds video had been disabled. I don't know what happened other than I think BayKids was probably redoing their YouTube site around the same time I linked to it. It is up and running again.
I've reposted so you can enjoy as we continue to remember him and celebrate his life this weekend.<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/DwuVxOhbcx8" width="560"></iframe>
Here's another goodie, reposted by popular demand!
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/m6O6h_3OVUQ" width="420"></iframe>Juliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12693900768195528953noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3050454783329206238.post-39431810263737093502012-06-03T07:50:00.000-07:002012-06-03T07:50:55.052-07:00Remembering WilliamWilliam's obituary is in today's (Sunday, June 3) Sacramento Bee and posted online at: <a href="http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/sacbee/obituary.aspx?page=lifestory&pid=157894118">http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/sacbee/obituary.aspx?page=lifestory&pid=157894118</a><br />
<br />Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01974798833087375210noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3050454783329206238.post-46143934370599552102012-05-30T15:37:00.000-07:002012-05-31T10:12:10.638-07:00The Party Details<br />
We invite all to attend the services next week on Thursday and Saturday to honor William.<br />
<br />
Thursday, June 7th---public viewing<br />
5:00-8:00 PM <br />
Miller Funeral Home<br />
507 Scott Street, Folsom, CA 95630<br />
916-985-2295<br />
<br />
Friday, June 8th---private family burial<br />
<br />
Saturday, June 9th---Celebration of Life service<br />
12:00 PM <br />
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints<br />
89 Scholar Way<br />
Folsom, CA 95630<br />
<br />
For those who would like to make a donation in William's honor, our family has chosen two organizations we would like to support: Sutter Child Life and a national Neuroblastoma research organization.<br />
<br />
The Sutter Memorial Child Life Program was part of William's everyday life in the hospital. They provided support to both William and our family. Their program strives to empower children and families to cope, understand, and heal as they encounter illness and hospitalization. Opportunities are offered to create meaningful experiences through play, education, preparation, and emotional support. These programs and activities include educating children about their illnesses, preparing them for procedures and surgeries, offering normal childhood play experiences (toys, games, arts & crafts, movies), celebrating holidays and special events, etc.<br />
<br />
Checks can be written directly to the Child Life Program and they can be "tagged" to do something specific to honor William.<br />
<br />
Checks can be given directly to us or mailed to:<br />
Child Life Program<br />
Sutter Memorial Hospital<br />
5151 F Street<br />
Sacramento, CA 95819<br />
<br />
The New Approaches to Neuroblastoma Therapy (NANT) consortium is a group of 15 major pediatric institutions in the US that test new therapies that have promise for improving long-term survival for children with neuroblastoma. William was diagnosed with high-risk Neuroblastoma. It is an aggressive cancer with a low cure rate. Many of the treatments William received at UCSF Children's Hospital and Sutter Memorial Hospital were based upon laboratory and clinical studies conducted by NANT consortium investigators, who continue to develop new treatments. Children's Hospital Los Angeles Foundation Department handles all contributions to the NANT consortium and its member institutions.<br />
<br />
To donate by mail, checks can be mailed to:<br />
Brooke Glazer, Director<br />
Foundation Department<br />
Children's Hospital Los Angeles<br />
4650 Sunset Blvd, #29<br />
Los Angeles, CA 90029<br />
323-361-1746<br />
bglazer@chla.usc.edu<br />
**Please make checks payable to Children's Hospital Los Angeles, and the memo line on the check should read: In Memory of William Murdock/NANT. Please also include your name, address, phone and email address, and note that the donation is in memory of William Murdock and designated for NANT. <br />
<br />
To donate online, go to:<br />
<a href="http://www.chla.org/donate">www.chla.org/donate</a><br />
**Under "I would like my donation directed to:" please make sure to type NANT into the "Other" box. You can also specify that your donation is in memory of William Murdock.Juliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12693900768195528953noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3050454783329206238.post-38273821819828336762012-05-28T15:31:00.002-07:002012-05-28T15:31:27.406-07:00Returning HomeOur sweet William returned home to the loving, welcoming arms of his Heavenly Father on Sunday morning, May 27, 2012. His battle with cancer is over, but his legacy of faith, optimism, strength, patience, and adventure will live on forever.We love him dearly and are so grateful for the gospel of Jesus Christ and to know our family is eternal. We are thankful for the gift of his life and those who helped to extend it and enrich it.<br />
<br />
Our boys are doing very well. William's passing was sweet and peaceful and we were able to have some precious, sacred family time all together. Our children understand and are comforted by knowing God's plan. We know our family will be together forever and that William is not far away. Clark, 8, was very tender with his emotions and commented with tears in his eyes that he feels William is really, really happy and is still very close. He added, "It feels like he is touching me right now."<br />
<br />
We are still making arrangements to celebrate his life. I will post more details in the coming days, but for those of you who are planners, like me, it will not be this weekend. We want to have time to be with our children and not feel like their needs have to be postponed again for William. The tentative plan is:<br />
<ul>
<li>Thursday, June 7--public viewing</li>
<li>Friday, June 8--private family day</li>
<li>Saturday, June 9--Celebration of Life services</li>
</ul>Juliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12693900768195528953noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3050454783329206238.post-57046690946698144392012-05-23T22:20:00.001-07:002012-05-23T22:20:55.894-07:00Soaking up each momentGuess who? I wanted to give you an update because I feel like the whole village has fallen in love with William and he is on our minds all the time lately. William is becoming increasingly tired but after his catnaps, he is alert and we are able to enjoy this time with him. Julie and Ryan are taking turns sitting with William and holding his hand. His brothers also take their turns having special time with William and they too sit and hold his hand. These moments are very sweet and tender.<br />
<br />
William always perks up for his visits with James. It means the world to James when Julie and Ryan tell him how William changes when they are together. Tonight as we attempted to leave to go to swim practice, William cried that he didn't want James to leave. Guess who didn't swim today? How could we say no to this sweet boy? He's got all of us wrapped around his finger! William doesn't have a lot of energy but he still beat James at 2 out of 3 games of Mario and Sonic at the Olympic Games on the Wii. <br />
<br />
Julie and Ryan appreciate all the prayers, cards, emails, messages of love and support. I am also grateful for the delicious strawberry jam and jam vehicles (biscuits) dropped at their door today! And thank you all for all the nice comments written to me and my son on this blog and on Julie's Facebook page.<br />
<br />
<br />the5davieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01278748886480685988noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3050454783329206238.post-51919024485008650332012-05-20T15:36:00.001-07:002012-06-08T09:04:13.971-07:00Ode to Angry BirdsLast year, during William's bone marrow stem cell transplant at UCSF we were introduced to BayKids, an organization that "empowers children facing serious medical challenges to express themselves through the art and magic of filmmaking." They partnership with local hospitals, teaching "digital filmmaking skills to hospitalized children. Through [their] programs, children discover their own unique voice and experience the healing power of self-expression." And they are awesome! What a gift they bring to the children and their families.<br />
<br />
They help the children come up with ideas of stories to tell and how to tell it on film. Some conduct interviews, give tours, share a creative story, etc. William chose Angry Birds as a theme (big surprise) and stop motion animation as his method. We spent months slowly crafting the construction paper figures and William planned how the story would be told and shot. Since BayKids only comes to UCSF on certain days, we carefully coordinated his last treatment to be there when he could do the final filming of his project. The talented volunteers take over from there with editing and final production. I suppose William could have been a part of that too, but he was done with treatment at UCSF at that time.<br />
<br />
Each year BayKids hosts a Movie Premier featuring kids from the BayKids Moviemakers Program at UCSF Benioff Children's Hospital and Children's Hospital and Research Center in Oakland. William and his film were one of the handful to be chosen to be honored and celebrated at this year's event at the de Young Art Museum! What an honor! The kids are interviewed and honored on stage. Each of their films is also screened by the entire audience. William and our family were really looking forward to this event. We even took William into the hospital on Thursday for blood transfusions just to give him a boost to make the day a good day. Today is that day. Unfortunately, we decided on Thursday evening that his weakening condition was not going to allow him to attend.<br />
<br />
Our great friend, Zack, came up with a brilliant and very generous idea. He would attend in William's honor and videotape the whole thing for him. Wow. Problem solved and what a gift. William didn't even have a chance to be upset about not attending because he liked the alternative so much. I also think he is coming to an understanding that he just isn't able to travel outside the house any longer. The ideas and possibilities improved. William was able to FaceTime with Zack via iPad when Zack accepted his award. William was able to give a brief speech via FaceTime. The iPad was connected to and broadcast over the house system so the audience could hear him. Oh, the technology! Thank you to Zack, and his brother, Matt, for going to such great lengths to make this special for William. (And for braving the traffic and parking nightmare during Bay to Breakers today in the the same vicinity!)<br />
<br />
I suppose William would say one of the perks of this format was snoozing through the parts he wasn't interested in. :) <br />
<br />
Enjoy the show!
<iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/DwuVxOhbcx8" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>Juliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12693900768195528953noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3050454783329206238.post-79552676265612906902012-05-18T23:25:00.001-07:002012-05-18T23:40:53.448-07:00Best FriendsAnd it's Lisa again. I just have to start this blog with a statement of the obvious: I love that boy. I just love him. <br />
<br />
And I love our boys together. They had a really good visit today. William really perked up when James arrived and he smiled and laughed when James read "Walter the Farting Dog". Ahh, potty humor. James understands that time is precious and it looked like the weight of the world was lifted off his shoulders this afternoon after we left. James had a really rough visit on Wednesday night (maybe it was Tuesday, we are tired). William was very irritated (very irritated for William, less irritated than me in commute traffic) and James could sense this. William wasn't always awake and wasn't always making sense when he was talking. On a couple of occasions, I thought James was going to shoot through the roof with anxiety. Why put my kid through this? Because life isn't fair. And this is our life. And it is important to take our son through this transition time so he too can transition. Yes, it is painful for him but he goes to visit to honor his friendship with his best friend, that is all he has to offer. We do not believe (and I say "we", but my husband is the psychologist who gently guides us with his brain bending to right my wrongs) that you hide the tough stuff from your kids because it teaches them that you are not honest with them and you believe they are not strong enough to handle the tough stuff. We also bring our son down this tough road because pretending this experience is anything less than the most painful moment of his life is disrespectful to his friend. Any questions? I didn't think so.<br />
<br />
So we had a bad visit the other night and when we go home we just sat in the driveway and finished talking about what was happening. James really hoped that we would get one more good visit with William and I am so glad that happened today. At the end of our talk in the car James said, "I'm really excited for William to go to heaven". Heartbreaking, yes. But my son has compassion for his best bud and I couldn't be more proud. In tough moments James has cried that he wants to go to heaven with William because he will miss him too much. I understand this is a ten year-old boy solving an immediate problem for himself as a ten year-old boy would do but still heartbreaking. But this time he didn't mention going with William, he wasn't thinking about himself, only William. It was important for James to go through this. If he only saw William when he was feeling well, it would be much harder to understand. Adults understand cancer sucks, James gets it now too. And James understands everyone is working around the clock to keep William comfortable but he sees that there is still suffering and he wants his friend to be free of pain. We all want that.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-PeGujIaQg6I/T7c2_vKIV-I/AAAAAAAAB0k/Fc7F4ApU0z4/s1600/P1010886.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-PeGujIaQg6I/T7c2_vKIV-I/AAAAAAAAB0k/Fc7F4ApU0z4/s400/P1010886.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Best Friends</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
So maybe you are thinking, "Hey Lisa, get your own blog! We read this blog to check up on the Murdocks". Fine. I'll give you your update. The Murdocks are also taking their family through this same transition. They are no longer allowing any visitors or returning calls or emails. They are hunkering down and nurturing their boys. Tonight Ryan is at the Father and Sons camp-out with Clark, Cameron, Nathan, and Soren. They all need special time with their parents and they need time with William. An overwhelming task for any of us, but Julie and Ryan are leading their children through while also balancing the care of one very tough boy. <br />
<br />
And speaking of care- I mentioned the term "Momcologist" in my last blog, a term that I love. I propose to add "Mompharmacist" to Julie's credentials. I'm sure other parents have this same experience but Julie and Ryan are so well-versed in the drugs, and I mean the really big expensive and powerful drugs, it is amazing to me. And Julie, you know me (and my appreciation for a good little white pill) as well as anyone, so you know if I say you are a "Momcpharmacist", well that is an honor higher then Mother-of-the-Year.the5davieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01278748886480685988noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3050454783329206238.post-45804415859898438892012-05-17T23:22:00.000-07:002012-05-17T23:22:01.771-07:00The Finishing of the Bucket ListI'm not quite sure where to start, but THANK YOU is probably as good a place as any. Thank you for the outpouring of love, support, and prayers. I can't possibly convey in words how truly blessed we are to be so loved. Thank you to amazing nurses, doctors, hospital staff, and volunteers who we love so dearly. These wonderful people have cared for us each day over the past two years and pulled us through good times and bad times. Each of you have become dear, dear friends who crossed the lines of professionalism a long time ago! We love each of you more than you'll ever know!<br />
<br />
Thank you to friends, neighbors, church members who have swooped in to fill in all the neglected cracks at home. You have helped us maintain balance and routine and eased our burdens countless times. <br />
<br />
So what has been going on?<br />
<br />
After William returned from his Coloma field trip, he had his normal scans (on a Thurs) to check disease progression before starting a new round of chemo. He was physically exhausted, but we suspected this was from 3 fun and full days of hiking and panning for gold.<br />
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On Friday afternoon, we left to San Francisco on another Bucket List trip. We went to a Giant's baseball game that night and then spent Saturday exploring the ruins of Sutro Baths (where my great grandfather was baptized over 100 years ago), visiting Chinatown, riding the trolley, walking the wharf, and a trip to Alcatraz for the night tour. William was too tired the whole trip to do much more than enjoy the ride in his wheelchair. He napped often, but said he had fun.<br />
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I suspected the need for blood and worried about his increasing labored breathing. After calling the doctor, we made a stop at the hospital on our way home to receive blood and platelet transfusions overnight. His breathing continued to be labored, but the doctors told us it was due to disease progression, but that discussion would happen on Monday. On Monday, at the scheduled clinic visit, we learned that the tumors were spreading and growing. Uncharacteristically, I haven't taken the time yet to dissect the scans, but basically everywhere he had tumors has more tumors and they have grown, new ones are in his abdomen, and most significantly, in and around his lungs. The tumors aren't responding to treatment. We were given our options and it didn't take long to go through them. We have chosen to discontinue chemotherapy.<br />
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A chest x-ray showed an alarming amount of fluid in and around his lungs and we were given less than an hour do decide whether to have chest tubes put into the lungs to drain the fluid or not. We went with the chest tubes. Over 2 liters of fluid drained that afternoon and have continued to drain since.<br />
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Over the next several days, we received many tender mercies and answered prayers as solutions evolved as to the course of his care. It would take too long to list, but it is very obvious to us that God's hand was directing the course of events. William was able to come home last Thursday with two chest tubes in place and connected to collection bags. A hospital bed is set up in our room and William is on oxygen 24 hrs/day.<br />
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William was able to attend William K.'s funeral on Saturday morning as planned. It was a sweet service and William and I watched a video of the two of them in the hospital dancing and throwing paper airplanes down the hallway. It brought back good memories and William said tenderly after watching it, "I will really miss William. I really liked him. He was a good friend." William returned to the hospital on Saturday afternoon and ended up spending the night getting multiple blood transfusions. Thank you to my dad who had his first hospital sleepover with William so Ryan and I could rest.<br />
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On Monday, the last of the Bucket List items was crossed off. He went back to San Francisco for more fun! Aerial fun! He flew over Alcatraz, the Golden Gate Bridge, California State Capitol, Raley Field, the Sacramento Temple, and our home! What an awesome gift. Thank you, Zack! You have a gift for touching the lives of children.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-panMDZ4iXI8/T7XgnjvrgoI/AAAAAAAADn4/SkDQYHMhEhA/s1600/2012-04-17.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="180" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-panMDZ4iXI8/T7XgnjvrgoI/AAAAAAAADn4/SkDQYHMhEhA/s320/2012-04-17.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">clockwise from top left: Raley Field, State Capitol and Tower Bridge, William's Hospital, Zack and William, our house, Sacramento Temple</td></tr>
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We are very tired from the intense activities, decisions, and roller coaster of emotions. We are grateful to our families who have traveled to be with us and the love and support we feel from all of you. We are so proud of our hero, William. We love him dearly. His courage, determination, faith, endurance, patience, long-suffering, strength, example, and cheerfulness have made this journey inspiring.Juliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12693900768195528953noreply@blogger.com21tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3050454783329206238.post-43475862595490010312012-05-10T23:50:00.000-07:002012-05-10T23:50:28.575-07:00Home Sweet HomeFriend Lisa again. I'm sorry you get me again tonight; I too look forward to reading Julie's beautifully written blogs. But you'll take what you can get, right? I am happy to report that William came home today. The original plan was to stay at the hospital until Friday with chest tubes in place. It was discovered yesterday that William had the smaller tubes in place that could remain in place and be clamped to allow him to come home, this was GREAT news. Then Dr Abramson, the Murdock's favorite surgeon got involved and came up with something better. William is now home with some sort of collection bags in place. The Murdocks are so grateful for the medical staff and they love Dr. Abramson. I met her after Will's last surgery and she is full of character, the highest compliment from me!<br />
<br /><br />
Julie and Ryan are very at peace with how they were able to get the right sized chest tubes in when they were needed and that they are able to come home today. Their strength and their outlook never fails to impress us all. They appreciate the support of everyone around them They read their blog comments, Facebook comment, and emails, but even the Murdocks get tired. They are very tired right now and will try to get a little rest and spend time with their family. As I am sure you can understand, they are not accepting visitors or returning phone calls right now. <br />
<br />
Here are a couple of special photos:<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-4bIMnUhUVDQ/T6y1Ez_bEuI/AAAAAAAABz8/dOtakgOzEsQ/s1600/IMG_1080.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-4bIMnUhUVDQ/T6y1Ez_bEuI/AAAAAAAABz8/dOtakgOzEsQ/s400/IMG_1080.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">William beating James at Chess on Tuesday.</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Will with a sourdough alligator. He ate a little of the leg.</td></tr>
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A side note: William met a friend in treatment, Spencer, who
is the same age. One evening when we were visiting, Spencer's dad came
down the hall at the hospital and recognized me. He is my husband's
sophomore year college roommate. It is a small world. Today Spencer's
family wrote a wonderful tribute to their friend William Klopper, who
recently lost his heroic battle with cancer. It was a beautiful entry.
In the entry they called William's mom a "Momcologist". I loved that.
These parents are amazing!the5davieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01278748886480685988noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3050454783329206238.post-24280656836329127242012-05-07T23:09:00.000-07:002012-05-07T23:09:50.657-07:00A Quick UpdateHello. Friend Lisa here. Julie asked me to post an update for her tonight as she and Ryan are with William in the hospital. Julie has been a blog-slacker lately due to a wonderful few weeks of small miracles. A week or two ago she told me a great story about how William was feeling great after an especially good transfusion and he rode the scooter down to the park to hang out. And, um, yes, we all remember the orders about about no weight bearing on the leg. Last week William went on his much anticipated fourth grade trip to Coloma. He had a wonderful time and we are all so thankful for that special trip. But with barely time to unpack and repack, William and family all hit a Giants game on Friday and Alcatraz on Saturday to complete William's bucket list. These last few weeks have been so full of great memories for the Murdock family and we are all grateful for this. And we are all amazed that Julie can pull off all these trips along with scheduling many clinic visits and tending to the needs of 5 other boys (I can't forget Ryan). Amazing.<br />
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Julie and William took a detour to the hospital on the way home from San Francisco on Saturday night for much needed transfusions. William was feeling pretty crummy. His oxygen saturation was also low and his heart rate was up. He had fluid in his lungs and he was working hard.<br />
<br />
Today Julie and Ryan met with their doctors and William was admitted for more blood. They took a detour from getting more blood and quickly inserted two chest tubes to drain the fluid in William's lungs. The fluid build-up was the top priority but William had said before that he didn't want a chest tube. But William has a bigger concern; he wants to be at his dear friend William Klopper's funeral on Saturday. It seems unimaginable but William decided to have chest tubes put in today to get the fluid out so that he could honor his friend who he met in treatment. The Kloppers became very dear friends to the Murdock family and they all felt the loss when William passed last week. Chest tubes were placed and at 9 pm tonight, Julie reported that William was starting to wake up, his breathing was much less labored, and he had drained almost two liters from the two tubes, combined. Wow!<br />
<br />
We are glad that William is much more comfortable. The results of the scans from last week are not good. The cancer is progressing. I know Julie and Ryan will provide a much more accurate blog when they have a spare minute, but there are more tumors around the liver and in and around the lungs. They aren't sure why, but his hemoglobin is not staying high with transfusions. Julie expected that he would get another transfusion tonight. Sadly, I am sure I was told more but it all seems a bit blurry; my emotions were perhaps running a bit high today, too.<br />
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I may not have the clinical details all correct but I can tell you some other important stuff. William has asked, in addition to attending William K's funeral, to see Millie, his favorite therapy dog, and to go to San Francisco to the Academy of Sciences and Exploratorium. Millie has been unable to come to the hospital for the last two months as she contracted a non-contagious parasite. Her handler made a special call to the vet to get clearance to come in tomorrow and be with Will. Everyone who knows Will feels the same way about him; he is a special boy.<br />
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Julie and Ryan will continue to figure out what is best for William. At this point they are really calling all the shots and they are so smart and compassionate about every decision. I know the Murdocks know how much they are loved by all of us. I know they feel your prayers for William and the entire family. the5davieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01278748886480685988noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3050454783329206238.post-72244573399264014022012-04-26T01:20:00.001-07:002012-04-26T11:09:12.014-07:00Spring Break and Beyond<br />
I know I've been a slacker on the blog and I apologize to all of you faithful followers. I have been working on the blog, but life keeps getting in the way and the hospital wireless is painfully slow to upload pictures.<br />
<br />
Spring Break---April 2-9<br />
<ul>
<li>loved a visit from Clark's teacher and her two Newfoundlands<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-NmERcIynyl0/T5j3wsDpGTI/AAAAAAAADm8/Ex6G68CRPak/s1600/P1010374.JPG" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-NmERcIynyl0/T5j3wsDpGTI/AAAAAAAADm8/Ex6G68CRPak/s320/P1010374.JPG" width="320" /></a> </li>
<li>enjoyed having my sister, Natalie, for several days to help with the babysitting during the chemo and radiation </li>
</ul>
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Mwl7zNUPbWE/T5j9Yj8KSpI/AAAAAAAADno/SjqfYS1-4eQ/s1600/P1010396.JPG" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Mwl7zNUPbWE/T5j9Yj8KSpI/AAAAAAAADno/SjqfYS1-4eQ/s320/P1010396.JPG" width="320" /></a><br />
<ul>
<li>SO appreciated her help painting the boys bathroom--a project we started a year ago!</li>
<li>finished the last 2 days of chemo (Velcade) on Monday and Thursday</li>
<li>completed the last of 12 days of radiation on Friday (the 7 am appt. time was beastly)</li>
<li>left town directly from radiation to Monterey for the weekend (Bucket List item)</li>
<li>LOVED visiting with great friends</li>
<ul>
<li>the boys loved the BB guns, explorations in the woods, playing with the cat</li>
<li>Ryan and I loved the good company, gorgeous views, and yummy food<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-3aiIqsm3lEI/T5j6xHy-gjI/AAAAAAAADnY/Woh2UNyyvr8/s1600/P1010413.JPG" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-3aiIqsm3lEI/T5j6xHy-gjI/AAAAAAAADnY/Woh2UNyyvr8/s320/P1010413.JPG" width="320" /></a> </li>
</ul>
<li> Played at the beach</li>
<ul>
<li>digging holes</li>
<li>tide pooling- lots of hermit crabs!</li>
<li>testing the chilly waters---sometimes a little more than desired<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-_SXQmBEgW74/T5j3AjhOz4I/AAAAAAAADm0/tHgkeUbZOy8/s1600/2012-04-071.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-_SXQmBEgW74/T5j3AjhOz4I/AAAAAAAADm0/tHgkeUbZOy8/s320/2012-04-071.jpg" width="320" /></a></li>
</ul>
</ul>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-3tl6AP9TKGc/T5j6KgjYqFI/AAAAAAAADnQ/acaRV4UxeL4/s1600/P1010409.JPG" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-3tl6AP9TKGc/T5j6KgjYqFI/AAAAAAAADnQ/acaRV4UxeL4/s320/P1010409.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">How many children in this picture? (answer: 6)</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<ul>
<li>Monterey Bay Aquarium</li>
<ul>
<li>A special thanks to the father of the twin's school teacher, Jim, and their dear friend, Alex, who both work at the aquarium, for the behind-the-scenes tour</li>
<li>The boys are still talking about how much fun they had!<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-wnpWa-aa1Zo/T5j2GLD28EI/AAAAAAAADmk/uKLFsWBI8bs/s1600/2012-04-07.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-wnpWa-aa1Zo/T5j2GLD28EI/AAAAAAAADmk/uKLFsWBI8bs/s320/2012-04-07.jpg" width="320" /></a></li>
</ul>
<li>Bay Area for Easter</li>
<ul>
<li>wonderful church service </li>
<li>lots of fun cousin time with 2 of my siblings and their families</li>
<li>delicious food<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-EtKQ1SxPqDY/T5j7RPX1EWI/AAAAAAAADng/JACKMXJP5yc/s1600/P1010556.JPG" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a></li>
</ul>
</ul>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-EtKQ1SxPqDY/T5j7RPX1EWI/AAAAAAAADng/JACKMXJP5yc/s1600/P1010556.JPG" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-EtKQ1SxPqDY/T5j7RPX1EWI/AAAAAAAADng/JACKMXJP5yc/s320/P1010556.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This is how to jump on the trampoline with a walker!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
After Spring Break<br />
<br />
The following week I spent catching up on laundry and errands and William went back to school Wednesday through Friday. It was his first time back since November. He lasted the entire day each day (although he arrived ~45 minutes late each day due to his TPN infusions) and had a great time! He really loves being around his peers and feeling normal and they were all so excited to see him.<br />
<br />
Then chemo started all over again last Monday. It was the start of round 2 of the Irinotecan/Velcade cocktail. It continues to be outpatient treatment, but we spend 5-6 hours of every day at the hospital (+1 hr travel time/day) during this first week of the cycle. As exhausting as it is to drive back and forth every day and coordinate the schedules of William and my other children, it's much better than staying overnight and running the risk of another bout with bed bugs. (I'm itchy just thinking about it!) Thank you to the wonderful friends who love and care for my boys and deal with my often impromptu schedule!<br />
<br />
William is tolerating this chemo well enough, but what does that mean? Chemo stinks and never feels good! But at least most of the side effects are being kept at bay and we're not in the hospital. One side effect of the Velcade is neuropathic pain. William had a little pain last time, but not enough that he wanted pain meds. On Monday, as soon as the infusion ended, his shoulder began to hurt. The pain increased and became quite painful, enough that he wouldn't move it or let anyone touch it. Dilaudid hardly touched the pain. We increased his dose and that helped (and made him sleep more).<br />
<br />
He had an x-ray of his shoulder area on Wednesday last week to rule out possibilities outside of chemo side effects. The x-ray revealed a <i>possible</i> abnormality, but nothing definitive. Given his history with relapsed neuroblastoma, they recommended an MRI. After consulting with the radiology oncologist, an MRI was ordered for Monday of this week. His pain decreased throughout the weekend and on Monday, one of his oncologists was skeptical that the MRI would reveal anything significant, attributing the chemo side effects to the pain. I was doubtful. Maybe it's mother's intuition, or maybe I just don't remember what it's like to have a scan with no significant negative results.<br />
<br />
Scan Results<br />
<ul>
<li>suspicious lesions indicative of bony disease in the humerus (bone between shoulder to elbow).</li>
<ul>
<li>one 13cm in length along the bone</li>
<li>one round tumor 4 cm in diameter</li>
</ul>
<li>lesion in the clavicle 1.5 x 1.1 x 2.1 cm</li>
<li>mild lymph node uptake (involvement) 1.3 x 0.9 cm</li>
<li>possible involvement in the sternum 3.2 x 1.5 x 2.5 cm (at the edge of scan and could have been a result of movement). Will confirm with a chest CT. </li>
</ul>
Total bummer, but we move on.<br />
<br />
William's hair, eyelashes, and eyebrows are starting to grow back and he looks so good! But, it's hard for me not to wonder what may be growing on the inside too. He has CT scans of his chest (to include the sternum), abdomen, and left leg next Thursday. No decisions will be made until those results are reviewed and we feel like we have a complete picture of what is going on everywhere.<br />
<br />
William takes it all in stride. He is enjoying the nice weather and even asks to be pushed in his wheelchair around the neighborhood. He is walking more as the radiation to his ankle and tibia seems to have decreased the pain and swelling. The bone is still fragile and he doesn't have the strength to walk long distances, but at least we don't have to carry him up and down the stairs any longer.<br />
<br />
Next week is his 3 day 2 night field trip to Coloma. He is so excited and we are happy his treatments have panned out to make it possible. Ryan will attend with him to administer his medications and tend to any needs. Also, if needed, Ryan can bring him home each night to sleep and return in the morning.<br />
<br />
The next Bucket List trip will be to San Francisco. He wants to have fun in SF instead of treatments! Go figure! We'll actually have to break it up into a few quick weekend trips as our schedule can't fit everything into a day or two. He opted to start with a Giant's baseball game and the night tour of Alcatraz!Juliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12693900768195528953noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3050454783329206238.post-51464002134231443982012-03-29T10:35:00.000-07:002012-03-29T10:35:36.299-07:00Tahoe? Check.Sandwiched in between the scan results and the start date of another round of radiation, our family high-tailed it up to Tahoe for a 2-day family fun adventure and another bucket list item. I'd like to call it a little R&R, but it was everything but! We put the trip on the calendar in early February, carefully counting chemo cycles, contemplating all possible deterrents, and praying for snow. It makes me VERY anxious and nervous to plan something this far in advance because we are so used to last minute surprises. But so far, our efforts to complete William's bucket list have been blessed with remarkable weather and conditions to allow our family to make some wonderful memories. I can't help but credit this as one of God's tender mercies, assuring us that he is aware of our every need. This trip was no exception. We delayed chemo for a week (also so he'd feel good for the Donut Dash that Saturday) and left on a Monday afternoon. We had apprehensions about this because the rate of tumor growth seemed to be increasing, but some things are higher priorities for us right now. On Saturday and Sunday before our departure, a huge snow storm dumped 4 feet of new snow in Tahoe---the first major dumping of the year! It was perfect powder for making snowballs and snowmen, the sledding runs were fresh, and the crowds were small since it was the school week.<br />
<br />
As soon as we arrived, it became obvious that all the boys wanted to do was roll in the snow. (Think stressed out mom who just wants to unpack and get settled, while 5 boys ignore her pleas to stop breaking icicles and stomping through the snow without boots or coats.) On Tuesday we headed to Echo Summit and the boys surprised us by lasting 5 hours in the snow! They were in their element. We paused once to have hot chocolate and snacks and then it was back to the runs.The weather was great. It was a little overcast, but the sun came out in the late afternoon. Even William begged to stay longer. Ryan and I were exhausted due to carrying William up the hill so many times, but it was so worth it!<br />
<br />
On Day 2, we offered more low-key options: movie (at the theater!), scenic drive, lunch at a restaurant.... Nope! They all insisted on another day of sledding. Even William had uncharacteristic energy and enthusiasm. The only difference with this day the complete lack of clouds in the sky. It was beautiful and the boys came home sporting sunburned faces--some a little more unfortunate than others, but they had a blast. It was so warm, we were peeling off layers. After 4 hours of sledding, we were trying to keep them awake during the drive home so we could just put them straight to bed.<br />
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Remember to click on the photos to enlarge.</div>
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-PCMwmwEKJP8/T3SElZrGKcI/AAAAAAAADk8/EkHCtOeCX5k/s1600/2012-03-202.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-PCMwmwEKJP8/T3SElZrGKcI/AAAAAAAADk8/EkHCtOeCX5k/s320/2012-03-202.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Rr20sYh7ZWk/T3SEnC79idI/AAAAAAAADlE/ympD1yHV2Lo/s1600/2012-03-203.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="180" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Rr20sYh7ZWk/T3SEnC79idI/AAAAAAAADlE/ympD1yHV2Lo/s320/2012-03-203.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">We did insist on the scenic drive to Emerald Bay, but all they wanted to do was climb!</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Emerald Bay</td></tr>
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-2F7ruBXB-14/T3SEr5DeycI/AAAAAAAADlU/YbJX8Y9am7Q/s1600/2012-03-205.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-2F7ruBXB-14/T3SEr5DeycI/AAAAAAAADlU/YbJX8Y9am7Q/s320/2012-03-205.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-xRMvTxJ7bi0/T3SEtiWyonI/AAAAAAAADlc/vMpbDTrVvEA/s1600/2012-03-21.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="180" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-xRMvTxJ7bi0/T3SEtiWyonI/AAAAAAAADlc/vMpbDTrVvEA/s320/2012-03-21.jpg" width="320" /></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Our balcony view was fantastic. Hot tubing every night was a welcome treat!</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
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Thank you to dear friends who helped make this trip possible and our burdens a little lighter. We had a wonderful time!<br />
<br />
The next morning William had to be up at 6:30 AM for the first of 12 days of radiation. Lovely. This week he also began his new outpatient chemotherapy regimen: Irinotecan and Velcade. The most brutal part is the schedule: 7 AM radiation appointment at Sutter General in downtown Sacramento and then chemotherapy at Sutter Memorial in midtown. He is receiving radiation to his liver, left inguinal (groin), and entire shin and ankle. He seems to be tolerating it all fairly well with mild, but controlled nausea. However, he has lost most of his appetite. He eats very little during the day, but continues to receive TPN and lipids at night via his broviac. The best part about it is all the reading time. William has finally found a series he LOVES and is finally feeling well enough to read...all the time! He reads during chemo and then comes home and reads for hours on the couch or in his bed (besides the occasional nap). He started the Fablehaven series while we were in Tahoe (1 1/2 weeks ago) and he's already half way through Book 4 of 5 and each book is 300-500 pages long. It makes my heart so happy to see him reading again. That makes things feel normal.Juliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12693900768195528953noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3050454783329206238.post-63565250718950261392012-03-27T09:18:00.000-07:002012-03-27T09:18:15.562-07:00Yum! Those Donuts Were Tasty!The Donut Dash was a success! Even the rain stayed away! I can't say thank you enough for all the generosity and support. It was a really, really fun event. William was so happy to be feeling well enough to participate and even got the first donut of the day (see interview below). It was so wonderful to see so many friends, doctors, and nurses there to all support an organization that touches our lives in a big way. It felt like a giant family reunion because we have grown to love our hospital family as much as our dear friends and family. A big thank you to Zack for once again putting together a fantastic and successful event! $35,000 was donated and over 1,200 people participated. 4 years ago, when it started, 25 people participated and just over $1500 was raised. It has come a long way 3 years later. Check out <a href="http://www.kcra.com/news/30752915/detail.html">William's interview</a> with the local news (and for those Highland High alumni, that's Richard Sharp in the anchor chair).<br />
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Here's some photo highlights. (Sorry about the poor resolution. I brilliantly forgot my camera and had to use my phone!) <br />
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-BQDYZH6Ggn8/T25ZLoC1p1I/AAAAAAAADik/1d6E60NrwSY/s1600/2012-03-24_08-30-53_397.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="179" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-BQDYZH6Ggn8/T25ZLoC1p1I/AAAAAAAADik/1d6E60NrwSY/s320/2012-03-24_08-30-53_397.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-6s-5JTucoHQ/T25ZeAQ4GUI/AAAAAAAADi0/Mu7hBUyB2Gk/s1600/2012-03-24_09-12-49_351.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="179" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-6s-5JTucoHQ/T25ZeAQ4GUI/AAAAAAAADi0/Mu7hBUyB2Gk/s320/2012-03-24_09-12-49_351.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sweet friends. Cole stayed right by William's side the whole time!</td></tr>
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-K-UENxlFZAA/T25Z6XGjz_I/AAAAAAAADjM/2_C_JSl0Xn4/s1600/2012-03-24_09-14-01_372.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="179" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-K-UENxlFZAA/T25Z6XGjz_I/AAAAAAAADjM/2_C_JSl0Xn4/s320/2012-03-24_09-14-01_372.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-57cRUWrHGeE/T25aC0feaOI/AAAAAAAADjU/Pmxooh9cMAY/s1600/2012-03-24_09-21-33_680.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="179" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-57cRUWrHGeE/T25aC0feaOI/AAAAAAAADjU/Pmxooh9cMAY/s320/2012-03-24_09-21-33_680.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-3B46YlMw7oQ/T25aUj6C9EI/AAAAAAAADjk/akSCeDJyDgI/s1600/2012-03-24_09-21-55_153.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="179" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-3B46YlMw7oQ/T25aUj6C9EI/AAAAAAAADjk/akSCeDJyDgI/s320/2012-03-24_09-21-55_153.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-CiPOzhbQHS4/T25adbRUDqI/AAAAAAAADjs/eQAHRKagboM/s1600/2012-03-24_10-11-46_38.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="179" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-CiPOzhbQHS4/T25adbRUDqI/AAAAAAAADjs/eQAHRKagboM/s320/2012-03-24_10-11-46_38.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Silly friends! Thanks, Aidan!</td></tr>
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<br />Juliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12693900768195528953noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3050454783329206238.post-69530266804595631252012-03-23T15:04:00.001-07:002012-03-24T13:57:11.821-07:00More Scan Results and What He Taught Me<br />
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The Donut Dash is coming…tomorrow, Sat. March 24th! It’s not to late to sign
up—just show up to register from 7:30-8:15am (see <a href="http://www.donutdash.org/">www.donutdash.org</a> for details). It’s not too late
to donate either. <a href="http://www.active.com/donate/DonutDash2012/williammurdock">www.active.com/donate/DonutDash2012/williammurdock.</a></div>
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Last week William had additional scans of his leg and groin
due to sudden increased pain and visible swelling in the affected areas. <i>Side note: Although it was not to be my career or degree path, my college human anatomy class has proven invaluable. Highly recommended to those with the opportunity!</i></div>
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<b>Results</b>: </div>
<ul>
<li>3 skeletal tumors in the tibia (the bigger bone between ankle and knee)</li>
<ul>
<li>top of the tibia just below the knee measuring 6-7 mm.</li>
<li>inside the bone running longitudinal (lengthwise) measuring13 cm in craniocaudal dimension (how's that for a vocabulary booster: meaning in the direction the x-ray beam travels during the scan. i.e., top to bottom).</li>
<li>at the metaphysis (wider part at the bottom of the bone).</li>
</ul>
<li>Fibula fracture due to stress from rapidly growing tumor (smaller bone between ankle and knee).</li>
<li>Tumor 10cm in length inside the fibula bone (just like the tibia--craniocaudal).</li>
<li>Soft tissue tumor extending away from the body along the fibula measuring 2.5 x 3.0 cm. This part is visible and looks like a giant goose egg on the side of his leg. It is growing fast enough that we didn't notice it during a Friday appoinment, but on Monday it was significant.</li>
<li>Probable, but not definitive tumor growth in the marrow of the talus (the big bone on the top of the foot just under the tibia.)</li>
<li>3 enlarged, metastatic (tumor spreading) lymph nodes in the left groin. The largest measuring 2.1 x 2.0 x 2.0 cm. The other two measuring 1.5 x 1.6 x 2.1 cm and 1.5 x 1.5 1.3 cm. </li>
</ul>
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<b>Plan of action</b>:</div>
<ul>
<li>Add radiation therapy of the groin, tibia, and fibula areas.</li>
<li>Continue with plan to radiate liver.</li>
<li>Leave the chest and abdomen tumors alone because they remain stable.</li>
<li>Non-weight bearing status to prevent further fractures and
bone damage. He’s restricted to his wheelchair and walker. But he cheats a lot! </li>
</ul>
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Radiation has begun. He'll have 12 treatments over the next 2.5 weeks. The best part is the 7:10 am appointment time!</div>
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Obviously, this wasn’t the news we wanted to hear. It’s horrible
seeing your child in pain and not be able to do anything to cure it. A colorful
array of pain meds are at our disposal and are being dispensed---just to William. William rarely
ever complains. Really. Rarely. But the crumminess of his life set in with
these last results and he just cried and cried that night. We did too. I held him in my arms
and Ryan and I, tears streaming, listened to him ask why he can’t just be a
normal boy. “Why can’t I run around the playground and kick a ball like normal kids? Why can’t I
be a missionary, a daddy, an engineer…like normal boys? Why can’t I kick a ball
farther than Soren (5 year old brother) because I used to be the best kicker?” We
ask those questions too and can’t give him the answers that make complete sense
to a 10 year old. We hold him, sympathize with him, and tell him we love him over and over and over again.</div>
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What he taught me in that moment was powerful.</div>
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I explained to
him that these are questions he can ask his Heavenly Father in his prayers. The
answers won’t usually come as spoken words, but as feeling in his heart and
impressions in his mind. I asked if he would like to pray and if he would like
me or him to say it. He asked to pray himself. With tender emotion he prayed
out loud with sincerity and pleaded with his Heavenly Father that he may have peace and
comfort and that he would be able to have the strength to handle everything. Not once did he ask why or ask to be healed. He just asked for strength, peace, and comfort. I can't help but believe the strong, sweet spirit inside him understands and accepts God's will better than we do. In that moment, he taught me all we need is continued strength to endure and the peace and comfort that comes from our faith in God's plan and faith in our efforts that we have done all that we can.</div>Juliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12693900768195528953noreply@blogger.com18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3050454783329206238.post-8914060597265828082012-03-09T15:49:00.001-08:002012-03-14T14:03:39.126-07:00The Ups and Downs of Scan Results<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">I'm continuing my plug for the <a href="http://www.donutdash.org/"><span style="color: blue;">Donut Dash.</span></a>
You can still register to run and eat donuts to support Sutter Child Life. We
are so excited for the amazing support given in just a few days and can't wait
to see so many of you at the race. To just donate, visit the <a href="http://www.active.com/donate/DonutDash2012/williammurdock"><span style="color: blue;">fundraising page for Team William</span></a>. We are
so touched by the generosity of so many of you who have donated to this amazing program in his honor. Thank you!
Thank you!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Now on to the latest scan results.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Last week, when William was admitted for his next round of
chemo, he had his routine set of scans that are done after every 2 rounds of chemo. The
anxiety level for these results was higher than normal. These scans would give us the most accurate sense of the effectiveness of the current chemo and
whether it was keeping the rate of tumor growth in check. To sum it up, it was a
roller coaster of mixed emotions. Here's the run down:</span></div>
<ul type="disc">
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><b>Abdomen
CT</b>: existing tumors left after resection (Nov. surgery to remove bulk
masses) appear to be decreasing in size</span></li>
<ul type="circle">
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l0 level2 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list 1.0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">suspicious lesion in the right lobe of the liver,
possible metastatic lesion (likely new tumor growth in the liver)</span></li>
</ul>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><b>Chest
CT</b>: previously known masses are stable</span></li>
<ul type="circle">
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l0 level2 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list 1.0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">small new nodule near lower left lung</span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l0 level2 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list 1.0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">pleural thickening suggesting metastasis and
inflammation (new tumor near lungs) </span></li>
</ul>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><b>Ankle
X-ray</b>: continued disease progression and bone deterioration in the lower
tibia</span></li>
<ul type="circle">
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l0 level2 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list 1.0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">apparent new lesion in the mid tibia, but scan was
dedicated to the ankle</span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l0 level2 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list 1.0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">recommend follow-up scans for entire left tibia and
fibula</span></li>
</ul>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><b>Liver
Ultrasound</b>: confirmed lesion in liver to be new metastatic disease (new
tumor growth)</span></li>
</ul>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Here's what we're dealing with. Our oncologist wants to begin radiation on his ankle, liver, and chest. Our radiology oncologist is more conservative. The chest tumors are stable and she is a little skeptical of the new suspected tumor mass near the lungs. She wants to study it more and consult with other colleagues. She is also skeptical of the ankle x-ray because it is just an x-ray and soft tissue is not easily viewed. She would like to see a CT or MRI of the ankle to make a more definitive assessment. William is only 3 months post-ankle radiation which she says is not really enough time to assess the full effect of radiation. He is also not increasingly symptomatic. The previously known chest tumors remain stable and she is skeptical the small, new lesion is really a lesion, but in any case, he is not symptomatic and radiating that area opens a new can of worms of crummy side effects and risks.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">What's the course of action? </span></div>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><b>Ankle</b>: The ankle is easy to radiate at any time, treatment does not cause crummy side effects, and he is not complaining of pain except when the doctors poke at it or he walks long distances. <i>Solution</i>: nothing for now and readdress in a month with more scans or when he becomes more symptomatic.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><b>Abdomen</b>: The tumors are decreasing. <i>Solution</i>: let the chemo continue to fight it.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><b>Chest</b>: Since it is stable and the possible new lesion is small, we want to maintain the current quality of life he has right now. <i>Solution</i>: no radiation and let the chemo continue to fight.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><b>Liver</b>: The lesion is relatively small and in a spot previously treated. His liver was previously responsive to radiation. Radiation is easy to this spot with mild crummy side effects. <i>Solution</i>: Radiation.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><b>Overall</b>: Switching the chemotherapy cocktail to an outpatient option: Irinotecan and Velcade. More of the details below.</span></li>
</ul>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Our hearts sunk knowing the cancer is spreading, but at the same time, we know we are doing all we can. Unfortunately, this is a vicious disease that is resistant to
treatment more often than it is responsive. We are in a strange place with his treatment plan because we are more acutely aware that medicine is still a guessing game for many diseases. Our doctors are great and we have complete trust and confidence in them and their decisions to fight the cancer as aggressively as they know how while keeping it all in William's best interest and always consulting us before any decisions are made. But it is a strange place to be calling the shots right now. Last year we just did what they told us because, frankly, we didn't have any other treatment options. We continue to educate ourselves along the way and feel very fortunate the treatment plan has gone as it has...with the exception of the relapse, but that wasn't in the plan and nothing could have prevented that.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">On a happy note, William looks
good and feels as good as expected. He continues to tolerate the chemo well,
although each successive treatment seems to bring more fatigue, nausea, and the
need for blood transfusions sooner than the previous round. He has wanted to
return to school (it's been a few months), but each day he plans on returning,
he ends up feeling too tired, nauseous, or needs transfusions. And, of course,
on the really good days we just focus on quality family time with good memory
making moments.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">The other obstacle we've been tackling is keeping him from
catching the illnesses the rest of us have had. Last year we all were
miraculously healthy considering we had a preschooler, two kindergarteners, and a
first grader. A coughing cold, a stomach bug, a fever bug, illness induced asthma, and ear
infections have been cycling through our family for the past 2 months. All but
William have been hit. In the few days a month when I’m not at the hospital or
clinic with William, I usually get to plan on being home to do laundry, errands,
and pay bills. Instead, I've found myself running the other boys to the
pediatrician's office, the pharmacy, and trying to remember their medicine dosing schedules on top of William's. Thankfully, Soren loves his breathing treatments and reminds me morning and night! Oh and did I mention the sleep chair in William's hospital room sleep chair was infested with bed bugs again? It was. It was gross. We even found one as proof for Environmental Services to sample. It was on William's pillow. Even more gross!! At least we discovered it the day we were admitted, but it also meant we were moved to the quad room. Bummer.</span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
Moving forward with outpatient treatment has its obvious perks. We will hopefully no longer need to spend the night at the hospital! Happy Dancing! The chemo combination, Irinotecan and Velcade, is a current clinical trial at the University of Michigan Cancer Center. William is not part of the study, but the doctors feel from their research that it is equally effective as the Irinotecan/Temador option, but with fewer crummy side effects. The treatment schedule is Week 1: M-F infusions; Week 2: T/Th infusions; Week 3: off, but M/Th clinic visits. The new change in treatment will hopefully continue to slow the cancer progression since he's never received either of these drugs and hasn't built up a resistance. It will also provide William with increased quality of life. The new treatment should not suppress his bone marrow as much meaning his counts won't drop as low or as long. However, I'm wondering about the real convenience when I contemplate the daily drives to the hospital (30 min each way), infusions that will take 1.5-3 hours (depending on the day), the extra time waiting that must <i>always </i>be factored in when visiting any medical facility, and the possible child care scheduling that may surface. I just keep reminding myself that we will all sleep in our own beds, eat our own food, use our private bathrooms, and not have creepy crawlies partying all night!</div>Juliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12693900768195528953noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3050454783329206238.post-83294904767135961382012-03-06T21:45:00.001-08:002012-03-09T11:45:36.639-08:00More Donut DashingAdditional Donut Dash information:<br />
<br />
I just learned how to set up an individual fundraising page so donations can be made in his name (for those that want to skip the race and eat donuts quietly at home with a tall glass of milk.<br />
<ul>
<li>Go to <a href="http://www.donutdash.org/">www.donutdash.org</a></li>
<ul>
<li>click on Donate Now</li>
<li>search for Team WILLIAM in the drop down box at the top of the page</li>
<li>follow the instructions listed </li>
</ul>
</ul>
Or<br />
<ul>
<li>Click on <a href="http://www.active.com/donate/DonutDash2012/williammurdock">www.active.com/donate/DonutDash2012/williammurdock</a></li>
</ul>
Thanks for all the support! We're so excited to see so many of you!Juliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12693900768195528953noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3050454783329206238.post-15072785624821450562012-03-05T14:57:00.001-08:002012-03-05T14:57:52.375-08:00Donut Dash 4-4-4-4It's the <a href="http://donutdash.org/">Donut Dash's 4th year of 4 miles & 4 donuts 4 Child Life</a><br />
<br />
Say what? The Donut Dash! Yum! This is a fundraiser for an organization very near and dear to our hearts: Child Life at Sutter Children's Center, Sacramento. Run/walk 2 miles in the lovely Land Park area, eat 4 donuts or 6 donut holes, run back 2 miles. It's all for charity so whether you actually eat the donuts or just grab and go is up to you. Personally, I'll eat some (because they're so good) and save some for later so I don't loose them <i>all </i>in an unfortunate event! Our whole family is going to be there this year, rain or shine, but hoping for shine. We'll be pushing William in his wheelchair and the boys will be on their scooters. We hope to see many of you there supporting us and an amazing program that brings so much joy to the lives of sick children. Click <a href="http://donutdash.org/about/">here</a> to read more about how the Donut Dash started and <a href="http://donutdash.org/about/">what Child Life does for the children</a>. (Millie, the dog, is part of the Child Life program).<br />
<br />
Date: Saturday, March 24, 2012<br />
Time: 8:30 AM<br />
Where: Corner of Freeport Blvd & Sutterville Road inside William Land Park<br />
<br />
William and Claire's names will both be on the t-shirt. We have created a team called TEAM WILLIAM. When you register, you can find our team name in the drop down box on the registration page. You don't have to participate if you just want to donate. However, if you want to be guaranteed a t-shirt, you must register by Friday, March 9th. That is THIS Friday, folks. So register now, before you forget (and to help Zack, the organizer, have fewer headaches on race day with last minute arrivals).<br />
<br />
<a href="http://donutdash.org/">Register or Donate</a><br />
<br />
Oh, and if you're worried about having enough time to train, don't worry, just contact me and I'll be happy to eat donuts together!Juliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12693900768195528953noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3050454783329206238.post-40904550477962338162012-03-01T19:56:00.000-08:002012-03-01T20:04:00.536-08:00The Bucket ListWilliam has a bucket list. And we are making some happy memories.<br />
<br />
The prognosis of William's disease has never been fantastic and the relapse doesn't make this journey any more fun. But cancer is a fickle thing and children are amazing warriors. We decided to make it more fun.
William's list is fairly small. Actually, I think we asked him to list 5 things, so the length of it is our fault. In no particular order, here's the list:<br />
<br />
<u><b>William's Bucket List </b></u><br />
<strike>Go to a King's basketball game</strike><br />
Go to Tahoe to go sledding<br />
Go to the beach<br />
<strike>Go to Austin, TX</strike> (where he was born, but moved when he was 6 months old)<br />
Go to San Francisco to have fun (not treatment) i.e. Exploratorium, Academy of Sciences, Alcatraz<br />
<br />
With cancer, timing is everything and then some. Seriously, one of these days I would like to just work off my own timetable. Is that too much to ask? Apparently, yes. So many variables make the journey very unpredictable. Luckily, he is tolerating his current chemo regimen well enough that we can at least predict when his good week will be. (He has 1 chemo week, 1 down week, 1 good week, repeat). It's the blood counts and need for transfusions that are not trending as predictable as I'd like. Regardless, we are making the most of the 1 good week and focusing on the bucket list.<br />
<br />
Last week, school was out for the entire week. Something to do with furloughs, California budget crisis, our children taking the fall for other's poor decisions... I digress. William spent all day Sunday in the hospital getting blood and platelet transfusions, tanking up for a week of fun. Monday was a holiday. Tuesday the doctor gave a thumbs up on blood counts. Tuesday night we delivered our three youngest to their cousins house and we all spent the night. Wednesday morning Ryan, William, Clark, and I flew to Austin, TX! Sunday we flew back, picked up the boys, and drove home.<br />
<br />
<br />
Here's a recap of what we did in between. (hint: click on each collage to enlarge)<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-XiLoHR6x0Zw/T1AlZ4O_uKI/AAAAAAAADg8/jL05TmOiAqM/s1600/2012-02-15+Texas.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="180" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-XiLoHR6x0Zw/T1AlZ4O_uKI/AAAAAAAADg8/jL05TmOiAqM/s320/2012-02-15+Texas.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">We ate A LOT of amazing Texas BBQ at The Salt Lick and Rudy's. How can you not love a BBQ place that is a gas station too?</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-UJKj4-z8MSs/T1Alc95vijI/AAAAAAAADhM/VoheYYLQAzM/s1600/2012-02-15+Texas2.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="180" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-UJKj4-z8MSs/T1Alc95vijI/AAAAAAAADhM/VoheYYLQAzM/s320/2012-02-15+Texas2.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Boating on Lake Austin with the Harwards</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<ul>
</ul>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/--xPOtO9ctNU/T1Aq-vgs78I/AAAAAAAADiM/O7AimTPoaKY/s1600/P1010063.JPG" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="191" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/--xPOtO9ctNU/T1Aq-vgs78I/AAAAAAAADiM/O7AimTPoaKY/s320/P1010063.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Harwards. Judy was with us for William's delivery so she's known him since the moment he was born!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-QnAOlO45c1A/T1AleoIhnPI/AAAAAAAADhU/eun3ye9NUBM/s1600/2012-02-15+Texas3.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="180" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-QnAOlO45c1A/T1AleoIhnPI/AAAAAAAADhU/eun3ye9NUBM/s320/2012-02-15+Texas3.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Safari Texas Style. The donkeys and ostrich were a little hungry!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-jsON60-hXq0/T1Alote61lI/AAAAAAAADiA/2IwyYUMrP-E/s1600/2012-03-01.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="180" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-jsON60-hXq0/T1Alote61lI/AAAAAAAADiA/2IwyYUMrP-E/s320/2012-03-01.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">San Antonio---The Alamo and Riverwalk. Oh, and ice cream--a necessary food group in our family!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-GvEesPY4P10/T1Alj5nH3EI/AAAAAAAADhw/pANBm6gYm9k/s1600/2012-02-15+Texas6.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="180" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-GvEesPY4P10/T1Alj5nH3EI/AAAAAAAADhw/pANBm6gYm9k/s320/2012-02-15+Texas6.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Zilker Park canoeing and turtle sightings</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-aCNpBYtpGWo/T1AlmhyqppI/AAAAAAAADh4/udzf9LoCqZs/s1600/2012-02-15+Texas7.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="180" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-aCNpBYtpGWo/T1AlmhyqppI/AAAAAAAADh4/udzf9LoCqZs/s320/2012-02-15+Texas7.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">University of Texas at Austin campus---Football and Track stadiums, engineering buildings, The tower, bookstore</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-TigtJcLdqIA/T1AliKESgeI/AAAAAAAADho/n48YKl6T-Nw/s1600/2012-02-15+Texas5.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="180" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-TigtJcLdqIA/T1AliKESgeI/AAAAAAAADho/n48YKl6T-Nw/s320/2012-02-15+Texas5.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Hook 'em Horns!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-VAXgxPdO804/T1Ala75I6sI/AAAAAAAADhE/4uLE6MeLYT0/s1600/2012-02-15+Texas1.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="180" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-VAXgxPdO804/T1Ala75I6sI/AAAAAAAADhE/4uLE6MeLYT0/s320/2012-02-15+Texas1.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Hiking at Mt. Bonnell</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-6E60Go8WL0o/T1Algb5md7I/AAAAAAAADhc/DtTboOcD6Kg/s1600/2012-02-15+Texas4.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="180" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-6E60Go8WL0o/T1Algb5md7I/AAAAAAAADhc/DtTboOcD6Kg/s320/2012-02-15+Texas4.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Our old apartment: 2nd story above William's head. St. David's Hospital where he was born.</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td></tr>
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We had a great time. Ryan and I loved listening to William and Clark giggle and enjoy being together. One afternoon William said, "I'm so glad Clark came because it would be so boring without him." One of our main goals was for the two of them to bond more and create some special, happy memories together.<br />
<br />
William checked into the hospital on Tuesday for the next round of chemo. He also had a full set of scans: Chest and abdomen CT, liver ultrasound, ankle x-rays. He'll be here until Sunday. Those updates will be in a forthcoming post.<br />
<br />
William wants to share how much he loves his dear friend, Claire. "I really miss her. She was fun to talk to. In Primary, she always knew the answers to questions. She always had a good sense of humor and a beautiful singing voice. She was always sweet and nice to everybody. She was a very good friend to me. It was very nice to have a friend who knew what it was like to be in the hospital all the time. I love and miss you, Claire." William has known Claire since they were 1. Claire had a congenital heart defect and passed away last night. Our thoughts and prayers and love are with her family.Juliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12693900768195528953noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3050454783329206238.post-59517480095926761772012-02-18T23:50:00.001-08:002012-02-19T17:59:17.419-08:00THE Trip!What a trip! William's wish to go to Harry Potter World was fulfilled! And the Make-A-Wish Foundation is Ah-Mazing!<br /><br />After a fun-filled week at more theme parks than I care to remember, we are finally settling back into our routines. We flew home almost 2 weeks ago on Monday, arriving after midnight, but in time to catch a few hours of shut eye before being back at the hospital Tuesday morning for another round of chemo-6 days. Luckily our kids were still on east coast time and woke up bright and early. Ryan and I weren't so lucky even if our bodies <i>were </i>on east coast time. We were exhausted!!! But it was all worth it! William was radiant. I haven't seen him feel or look that good for that many consecutive days for a very long time. But the recent completion of chemo has drained the energy yet again. Although he still looks good and is happy, happy, happy!<br /><br />The trip began early in the morning with a 5am knock on the door from the limo service to the airport. The boys loved it and were only slightly disappointed that the limo was white. They have this funny belief that the Jonas Brothers are in all black limos and Hannah Montana is in white limos! They got over it pretty fast and we piled in. The flights were good and almost uneventful. The pilot let the boys explore the cockpit and the flight attendants handed out extra cookies. The only significant event was when Soren tried to remove a lid from a Play-doh container and one of his bottom front teeth flew onto the chair. It wasn't loose. It was his first tooth. His urge to cry was quickly curbed as we gushed over the exciting fact that he was the first boy in our family to loose a tooth on a plane! There's always something to be said for feeling a little special.<br /><br />Our resort: Give Kids the World! Wow! And the wow isn't because it was 5 star amazing, but because of the people who work and volunteer there and the special attention they give to making it magical for the Wish Child and their whole family. Several times, just walking around the grounds I got a little teary just thinking about how amazing everything was and the impact of it all on our lives. All of the boys got a special pillow from the Pillow Tree in the Castle of Miracles, the wish fairy left presents on our kitchen table each day, William got a "star" in the star tower of the Castle of Miracles, various characters came each day to greet the kids, pirate party at the pool, Super Bowl party at the pool with a giant movie screen, popcorn, cotton candy, snow cones, hot dogs, etc., all-you-can-eat ice cream parlor, breakfast each day in the gingerbread house, horseback riding, carousel rides, train rides, mini-golf, remote control boats, fishing, arcade.... should I stop? And this was just at the resort. I think the kids were shocked when they asked to do or eat everything and we always said YES!<br /><br />Harry Potter World was William's favorite! And of course, we went there first. The Hogwartz Castle ride was a hit! Butter beer wasn't appreciated by all---a little on the too sweet side for some of us, but still a yummy treat. The Hippogriff ride was ridden over and over again by the four younger boys---William is a little too fragile for that much jostling. And Ollivander's wand shop was pure magic. Really! Ask Soren (5yrs old). We hit Harry Potter World first thing in the morning and spent a few hours there. Then we wandered over to Island's of Adventure, another area at Universal Studios, and spent the remaining part of the day there until heading back to Harry Potter World again to finish out the last hour of the evening. We loved meeting up with some Hadfield cousins from VA who coincidentally were there on vacation too! So fun and always good to have a few extra adults and teenagers to tag team the boys!<br /><br />A bit of history for those of you who may not be Harry Potter aficionados. Ollivander's is the name of the wand shop where all wizards go to buy their wands before entering The Hogwartz School of Wizardry. However, <i>you </i>don't <i>pick</i> the wand, the <i>wand</i> picks <i>you. </i>At the park, wands are sold in the tourist shops and at kiosks in the park for a quick souvenier purchase, but if you are willing to stand in a long line, you can actually go into the portion with Ollivander himself and watch a small production with a lucky audience member and witness a wand picking its master. Our return in the evening yielded very small lines so we got in line. William's lovely bald head and special blue button designating him a Wish Child earned him the coveted role of lucky audience member. The room was so authentic to the movie, the Ollivander actor was fantastic, and the rigged room made every small child a believer in magic. William told me before entering that he didn't want a wand because he already has one that he loves that was made by the father of a family friend. It is very cool. However, after the whole production, we told him he could have another if he wanted. He did. His brother's commented, "William is so lucky because he got a wand that does real magic!" They love the wands they picked too.<br /><br />We also enjoyed time at Disney World hitting the Magic Kingdom, Animal Kingdom, Disney Hollywood Studios, Epcot, and Sea World. Some of the highlights were the Aerosmith roller coaster which marked William's first "upside down" ride, the stunt car show, more upside down roller coasters at Sea World, the Lion King show, feeding the dolphins, the sea otter show, the Test Track at Epcot, any and all log rides. We packed lots into each day, but we tried to stay at the pace of the boys. We never made it to the parks before 10am, but always stayed until closing. William's special blue button was great. It got all of us in special entrances, front row seats, fast pass lines, and often let us ride our favorite rides over and over again without getting off. During a dramatic melt down by Cameron for some reason I can't remember, an employee stopped to chat with William about what things he was enjoying and tried to cheer Cameron up without success. Then she marched them over to the ice cream counter and gave them all ice cream cones. What a treat and kind gesture.<br /><br />The flights home were long and late, but we made it into our beds by 12:30am, happy and exhausted.<br /><br />Here's a slideshow because I haven't found enough time to do much photo organizing yet. I tried to set it to music, but it was giving me enough headaches. I gave up so you'll have to settle for boring silence. I haven't downloaded any of our video and we just barely got all the laundry of the past 2 weeks finally put away today!<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='525' height='425' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/gccoNcz0cxc?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div><br /><br />William's week in the hospital for chemo right after we came back was fairly uneventful. He started getting nauseated on day 4 of 5. He came home feeling pretty crummy for a couple days, but is bouncing back just in time for his counts to drop. He's probably neutropenic by now and he's probably due for blood and platelet transfusions (he was close and trending down on Thursday). Due to the Monday holiday, he's not due back into the clinic until Tuesday. We'll see if he makes it until then. We may be making a trip to the 6th floor for some blood work a little sooner.<br /><br />Update: Got the slideshow up because we spent Sunday in the hospital getting blood and platelets. He's not neutropenic, but he's close. Not sure if he's on his way up or down.Juliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12693900768195528953noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3050454783329206238.post-35170523610784127202012-02-08T16:22:00.000-08:002012-02-08T16:22:24.102-08:00Perfectly Scripted Pinewood DerbyOur biggest concern with this year's derby, other than just finishing both cars, was how do we deal with hurt feelings if one car ends up being better than the other. The root of this problem stems from Clark having a hard time understanding why William seems to get "special" attention. All the kids feel this way, but Clark just seems to vocalize it and dwell on it more often. He is constantly upset because William comes home from the hospital with various toys and trinkets or he finds out that William had Jamba Juice or In-N-Out for lunch after his doctor appointments. We try our best to be sensitive to this and make special efforts to make sure each of our children feels special, but it's hard and we're walking a fine line. I know this is true in all families, in all situations, but it just feels exacerbated with this whole cancer thing. So this derby thing raised some awareness as to how we were going to make sure they both come out feeling like winners. (I'm all for kids learning how to be winners and losers, but I didn't feel like teaching it that day).<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-sGOJBN8Pzs0/TzMMC0e6vBI/AAAAAAAADgE/BCIQAdDRf84/s1600/001.JPG" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-sGOJBN8Pzs0/TzMMC0e6vBI/AAAAAAAADgE/BCIQAdDRf84/s320/001.JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The carving of the car and the outfit to do it!</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-KPxELtgzW38/TzMMGxubXPI/AAAAAAAADgM/ah_u6_WSVFc/s1600/006.JPG" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-KPxELtgzW38/TzMMGxubXPI/AAAAAAAADgM/ah_u6_WSVFc/s320/006.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The boys did a great job designing, carving, and painting their cars. We tried to give them some sense of ownership before we stepped in to help/finish.</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The finished products. William's is the yellow and black one and Clark's is the American flag one.</td></tr>
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We finished the cars just in time. Actually, we were a bit late, but we figured we'd just be the last ones to be weighed in. Both looked great and I got a new corded drill to aid the axle prep! I love power tools more than my husband! (Probably because I use them more often!) The boys and cars did great! I couldn't have scripted the outcome more perfectly! William won 1st place for the Webelos (not counting the 2 cars that won first and second overall) and Clark won 3rd place over all. It was perfect because both boys won several races, but Clark won more. Both were sincerely happy for each other! And so were we! Whew!<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-WeDQVK9krXU/TzMMPfqC3ZI/AAAAAAAADgc/H8dh88BDtD8/s1600/026.JPG" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-WeDQVK9krXU/TzMMPfqC3ZI/AAAAAAAADgc/H8dh88BDtD8/s320/026.JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The excitement of winning a trophy! Always with a flare for drama!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-jpRuOS79JLo/TzMMVmMHtJI/AAAAAAAADgk/n9fK4ZzucQU/s1600/027.JPG" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-jpRuOS79JLo/TzMMVmMHtJI/AAAAAAAADgk/n9fK4ZzucQU/s320/027.JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Well done!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-5PipnkLbHs0/TzMMcDcl3wI/AAAAAAAADgs/VAUEyyM_7BI/s1600/030.JPG" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-5PipnkLbHs0/TzMMcDcl3wI/AAAAAAAADgs/VAUEyyM_7BI/s320/030.JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A little toned downed, but equally thrilled!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-q0W7RkXsYVw/TzMMfV841uI/AAAAAAAADg0/9TqSILE0VM4/s1600/032.JPG" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-q0W7RkXsYVw/TzMMfV841uI/AAAAAAAADg0/9TqSILE0VM4/s320/032.JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Brotherly <strike>love</strike> competition!</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
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p.s. Yes, we took THE trip! Details to come as soon as I/we recover!Juliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12693900768195528953noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3050454783329206238.post-39081114637713252912012-01-23T09:52:00.000-08:002012-01-23T09:52:05.154-08:00Wishes Do Come TrueOn Friday afternoon, Make-A-Wish Foundation threw a party at our home to officially grant William his wish! What an amazing organization! He made his wish back in September right as we were finishing treatment and planning on a life of remission. He is a huge Harry Potter fan and wished to go to Harry Potter World/ Disney World in Orlando, FL. The plan was to go during Spring Break, but in December, under advice from our doctors, we decided to put a rush on his wish in an effort to make sure he got to enjoy the trip. So we have carefully calendared. Since his chemo and recovery are fairly predictable right now and he isn't experiencing too many "unexpecteds" at the moment, it all makes sense. His chemo will be delayed a week in hopes that he'll be at his peak of feeling great. We are so excited, but what I love even more is the fact that my kids have no real idea how amazing this trip will be. I just keep thinking about the 75+ degree weather right now while I'm suffering from a case of "wimpy Californian" during the few weeks of actual winter weather around here.
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Some of the highlights of the trip will be a limo ride to and from our home and airport, 24 hour, all-you-can-eat-ice cream parlor at our resort. (Our resort is called "Give Kids the World" and it is a resort only for Make-A-Wish kids and their families.) And of course, all the fun a kid can pack into a week with tickets to every attraction in the vicinity.<br />
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We are so grateful to the generosity of the Make-A-Wish Foundation, the many people who donate money to the organization to make these wishes a reality, and their amazing team of volunteers!!! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! We can't wait to post pictures of our trip!<br />
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In other news, William had a pretty uneventful week. He is not following his trends with his counts as he seems to hit an ANC of 0 a few days sooner than the previous chemo cycle. This week he seemed to stay at 0 a little longer than before, but he's
staying out of the hospital and we can't ask for much more. Besides, I figure the sooner he cycles down, the sooner he cycles up and then he has more time feeling good while he waits for the next chemo cycle to start. Right? It makes sense to me when I don't try to factor in the rest of the what ifs. He received blood and platelet transfusions on Thursday which helped give him a boost of energy for Friday's Wish party. We are hoping the TPN and lipids are working their magic with his weight. He's had some aches and pains in his abdomen this week and tells me it's not nausea or gas. He isn't requesting pain meds and he says it comes and goes quickly. This makes me crazy. I try not to let my anxiety get the best of me or let my mind go to places it shouldn't, but the thought of the cancer speeding up it's growth is never far away.<br />
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William and Clark are gearing up for the Pinewood Derby this week. It is mild torture trying to get 2 cars done and then try to figure out how we are going to manage the emotions if one car ends up being significantly better than the other. Ahhhh. And we are cringing for next year's races because the twins will turn 8 right before the Derby and we'll have 4 cars to make!Juliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12693900768195528953noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3050454783329206238.post-28331015547438512532012-01-16T22:41:00.000-08:002012-01-16T22:46:14.541-08:00Back on the Weight WagonChemotherapy went as planned---Monday thru Saturday. However, he came home with a new appendage of sorts: TPN and lipids (I.V. nutrition). He'll be hooked up to pumps for TPN and lipids at night for 12 hours to help give his body a boost. This is all a result of his weight hitting an all-time low: 49 lbs! He was about 64 lbs. and 1.5 inches shorter a year and a half ago at original diagnosis and he's always struggled to get back up to that weight. Weight and appetite loss are common side effects of radiation and chemotherapy, but he just can't afford to fluctuate down anymore, especial when he's lost almost 25% of his already thin body weight. At dinner he said, "Why can't there be more commercials about how to gain weight? Everything on TV is about how to lose weight. That doesn't help me!"<br />
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Today's appetite was pretty small. One of the important things with TPN is to keep him eating by mouth. His body can only get the I.V. nutrition for so long before it starts taking a negative toll on his other organs. He's felt a little nauseated from time to time, but we are trying to wean off the Zofran if possible. Tonight as I was saying prayers with him, he squeezed my hand and said he needed a bucket. Luckily we keep one right next to the bed. He threw up all of what little dinner he ate 2 hours earlier. After getting him cleaned up and tucked back into bed, he told me how tired he is of all this. I told him how much I loved him and how strong and amazing he is and that his Heavenly Father loves him so much and knows how hard this is for him. He continued to smile. I told him he was a golden warrior and he said, "Thank you for saying that because I feel like I know I am." Oh, how I love that big, strong spirit in that little boy body.Juliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12693900768195528953noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3050454783329206238.post-82416840948984772452012-01-12T14:16:00.000-08:002012-01-12T14:16:34.910-08:00They Made It To 7!!!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Nathan Cameron</td></tr>
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Seven years ago, your birth ended my 6 weeks of hospital bed rest. I haven't rested since! Having twins is such a joy and to watch two little people be so alike and different at the same time is amazing. Just when we think we have you pegged, you switch it up on us. You two boys keep us laughing at all your silly antics. We love how sweet and tender you both can be and rough and tumble the next moment. Cameron, your agility and carefree personality keep us on our toes. Nathan, your deep thinking and memory for numbers and details remind us we're getting old. We love how you each are developing individuality, but occasionally want to still dress alike to trick your teacher! We love watching you both become excellent readers and be avid and imaginative Lego builders. Your appetites, especially you, Cameron, are making me nervous for the teenage years if this what it's like at 7! We are so glad you are each a part of our family. We love you! </div>
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Happy Birthday to my most favorite set of twins!</div>
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Cameron and Nathan! You made it to 7! </div>
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-6Ei7A29C8sg/Tw9Nu4PuLsI/AAAAAAAADfQ/eeUtuNQOiVE/s1600/034.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-6Ei7A29C8sg/Tw9Nu4PuLsI/AAAAAAAADfQ/eeUtuNQOiVE/s320/034.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>Juliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12693900768195528953noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3050454783329206238.post-33836063627911564962012-01-08T22:57:00.000-08:002012-01-08T22:57:50.932-08:00Make Today Count<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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Quick Recap of the holidays</div>
<ul>
<li> Round 4 or 13 of chemotherapy (depending how you count) the week before
Christmas</li>
<li>Home Christmas Eve morning and William was so excited to be home, he called as he drove into
the neighborhood to have everyone come outside to be his welcoming committee.
Love it!</li>
<li>Relaxing Christmas day. Attended church, opened presents,
ate good food.</li>
<li>Gift highlights were Legos. What else do boys want/need? And
the tetherball that I’m proud to say Lisa and I made by pouring concrete in an
old tire. Actually, I poured the concrete and she supervised and took pictures
of who dressed in the ugliest grubbies. Everyone needs a friend with whom to
pour concrete, right?</li>
<li>My parents and brother arrived the day after Christmas and
stayed for a week. Wonderful. Filled our buckets.</li>
<li>Another brother and sister and their spouses and children
came to party Thurs.-Sat. to make fun family memories and celebrate my mother’s
60<sup>th</sup> b-day. Good times!</li>
<li><strike>Slept in</strike>. Got up early M-F for 2.5 weeks to be out the door by
7:20am for abdominal radiation.</li>
<li>Blood and platelet transfusion gave William an extra boost despite his ANC hitting 0, but it didn't stop him and all the uncles/grandpa and boy cousins from attending a Kings vs. Bulls NBA basketball
game that same evening to watch Jimmer. He did go wearing a mask and hand sanitizer in his
pockets. Hospital admit averted. Whew!</li>
<li>Celebrated my mother’s birthday on New Year’s Eve at a
bounce house gym. Debateable whether the children or adults had more fun. The adults came away with more injuries (always the competitive Bennions).
William engaged in more physical activity than I’ve seen in over a year. Bounce
house jumping should be prescribed medicine for cancer kids!</li>
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We’re getting back into the swing of schedules and unpredictability.
Last weekend, William experienced some intense abdominal pain, but a little
morphine seemed to do the trick. This can be a radiation side effect, but in
the back of my mind I always wonder if the tumors are growing. Tuesday, while
at the clinic right after radiation, the pain started again. Of course I
cleaned out my purse of his pain meds that morning. The nurse gave him some
Tylenol and he promptly threw up all over himself and soaked everything he was
wearing. Then he declared he felt much better! I hardly flinch at vomit anymore. Ahh, the things that change us.</div>
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<br /></div>
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The significant event was Wednesday's CT scans to assess the progress of
tumor growth. Good news. The tumors appear to have responded and decreased in size.
This gives us two options: 1) continue with the same chemo regimen of Etoposide (VP 16) and
ifosfamide until the tumors stop responding or 2) switch to temozolomide and
irinotecan, two chemotherapies his body hasn't been exposed to yet. The doctors will discuss the options and let us know what they
recommend when we show up for admit on Monday morning. The upside to option 2
is the temozolomide is an oral pill and the irinotecan can be given outpatient.
Otherwise, we’re just planning on a M-Sat hospital stay this week.</div>
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<br /></div>
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I recently read the following quote by Pres. Thomas S.
Monson on another blog of a family dealing with cancer too: “Time is a gift, a
treasure not to be put aside for the future but to be used wisely in the
present.” Ryan and I have discussed at length how to create more meaningful
relationships and memories as a family. We want to make each day count. Taking
the idea from this other blog, I planned a Family Home Evening lesson last week
on this topic, Make Today Count. We discussed and listed many things we can do
as a family each day to make the days better. Some things are daily activities
such as family prayer and scripture study, speaking kindly, serving one
another, saying “I love you” often, and giving lots of hugs. Other things are
activities we want to increase like going to the beach, family bike rides,
playing board games. Some things are easy and are already part of our regular
routine, but others will take daily reminders. Our hope is to strengthen our
family through this trial. We know good comes from adversity, but it’s not
always immediate or automatic. All things worthwhile take hard work and
patience. But at the end of each day, no matter how stressed we feel, how cranky the boys are, or how physically and emotionally exhausted we are, I hope we love each other a little more because we made today count.</div>Juliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12693900768195528953noreply@blogger.com10