Our hearts are breaking. Our minds are jumbled. Our emotions are fragile.
The cancer is back and it has progressed more than expected. William was admitted on Monday in Sacramento due to the need to move quickly. A CT scan revealed a new, large mass in his abdomen. Today he had a bone scan and bone marrow biopsy. Tomorrow he will have surgery to place a new broviac. After surgery, Ryan and I will meet with the doctors to discuss the bone scan results and hopefully have the preliminary bone marrow biopsy results. We will also be given the cold, hard, and unpleasant facts about his disease and our options. He will begin, again, a regimen of high-dose, aggressive chemotherapy.
William is in good spirits. He is very sad the cancer is back and that he has to get a new broviac. This time around feels particularly hard because we know what cancer treatment entails. He doesn't want to talk much about it. We suspect it will take him some time to process it all. His main question/request was if he could still have a big birthday party. I love the perspectives of a child.
At this point, few things, other than faith and hope and prayers, are in our favor. We still believe in miracles. It is a miracle he made it to this point. We still have deep faith in a loving Father in Heaven who knows and understands the plan far better than us. But this is still hard to wrap our heads around it as we thought he beat this monster. A good friend reminded us to choose hope. We do, but it a constant, conscious effort.
We are grateful for the few weeks we had filled with joy and happiness and celebration. Hopefully our buckets are adequately filled to weather the next stretch.
Julie, I am so sorry. You are such a faithful mom and such an inspiration. You are in every prayer I give.
ReplyDeleteThank you for updating this blog, even as hard as it must be. I don't know you as well as others but William and your family are definitely in our prayers. - Lindsey Havican
ReplyDeleteSo so sorry. My heart is breaking for you guys. We will continue to pray for William every day. I choose hope too!!
ReplyDeleteJulie, we are so sorry for the news, we are heart broken to hear it. William is in every prayer that our family says and will continue to be until he's all better. - Mitch & Avery
ReplyDeleteOh Julie, I am so sorry. This news makes me so sad. We will pray for all of you.
ReplyDeleteI was shocked to learn this; I was so convinced that William would be on recovery path. This is so not fair. We are all heart broken and frankly, speechless. Yung-Hsin
ReplyDeleteI am so, so very sorry, Julie! Things like this are so hard to understand! I will be praying for you and your family that somehow, someway you will be able to make it through the challenges that lie in your path. Thank you for your inspiring post!!
ReplyDeleteYou are also an amazing example of choosing courage. We will continue to pray with diligence that blessings will come to you as you put on your armor and fight this nasty cancer once again.
ReplyDeleteWhen I got your text this weekend saying you were at CHOC, my heart sank. I am so sorry to hear this news. I will continue my prayers for him and for you and will put your names in the temple this weekend. Thinking about you Julie.
ReplyDeleteMy prayers are with you and your beautiful family. I'm M.E. Clayton Clark's sister and Beth and Jonathan Walburger's sister-in-law. I have been following you from afar.....
ReplyDeleteI wish you for you hope and peace and the arms of the Atonement encircled about you all.
Julie and Ryan,
ReplyDeleteSending love and prayers to you and the family! If you need help planning a big birthday bash, give me a theme and I am on it! (Evites are the way to go) Also, if the boys want to come for some playtime with Truman, he would love it! I'm just a phone call away!
Hugs,Jayme
Julie,
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry you and you're family are having to deal with something this trying. Just know we think of you and pray for you everyday. You are an inspiration of faith and patience. Tell William we love him.
-Kim Jensen
Dear Julie and Ryan,
ReplyDeleteWe are so sorry. But we continue to have faith and will continue to pray for your dear William. We love you and are thinking of you.....
with much love and pleading prayers....
Diane & Larry and kids
So sorry to hear the news that it's back. You've been in our thoughts and prayers all the long and will continue to be. We love you... Hugs and lots of love to William, you, Ryan, and the other boys.
ReplyDeleteWhat awful news. We can't stand to think of you all having to fight through this again! Thank you so much for choosing hope. It reminds us all that we can choose to be happy or hopeful or whatever...even if is a choice we have to choose over and over and over in the same few minutes. We are praying for William and your family. We love you all.
ReplyDeleteMichelle Rodgers and family
Julie -- I am so sorry to hear your devastating news. We'll keep you, Ryan, William and the rest of your family in our prayers.
ReplyDeletePlease know that many people you do not know are continually praying for your family. Your son is lucky to have such an amazing example of hope and strength and courage in his parents. We will keep the prayers coming, and hope you feel their work in action. XOXO, Eliza (Amy's sister in CO)
ReplyDeleteJulie & Ryan,
ReplyDeleteWhat can we say to this devastating news but that we love you and will continue to keep you in our prayers on a daily basis as we have all along. It must be especially hard when all tests showed William to be in remission, and your family life was just beginning to get back to some semblance of normal.
Love, Larry & Romanie
NO!!! *#@%*#@ CANCER!!! Maybe you need a punching bag in William's room with CANCER written on it. My heart is breaking for your family! Marsha Joss
ReplyDeleteMy heart hurts with the news of the cancer returning. I continue to have William and your family in my thoughts and prayers. I am touched and inspired by your mantra to choose hope.
ReplyDeletelove ya,
Alicia
When I was young and naive I thought Courage was the absence of fear. I have come to learn that Courage is knowing full well what challenges lie before you and still be willing to fight. You have won so many battles to get to here and so you find out that this war isn't over. But, a family so full of faith, love, and Courage can conquer anything. And so you will..
ReplyDeleteall my hope and prayers are with you too.
-Mike
Julie, As I pondered your latest post while reading my scriptures this evening, I came across a verse I thought particularly apt. Mosiah 4:9 William (and all of you) is/are in my prayers.
ReplyDeleteMy heart is breaking for you as I hold my own little ones closer. Know at the very least that you are being thought of from deep in the hearts of Texas. Thank you for sharing your family's journey. It is touching and inspiring for us all. Down with that blasted Doohickey and his evil cronies!
ReplyDeleteWith love,
The Garvins