Monday, November 22, 2010

The Clock Is Ticking

Finishing up round 8 of chemo is the name of the game today. And hopefully our last in Phase 1 of treatment. The post-hydration should finish around 10 or 11 PM tonight and we are cleared for discharge. The car is packed and we still have 3-4 hours to kill. Tick...Tock...Tick...Tock. I know, checking out near midnight? I'll spare you the obvious reasons why we'll pass on an all expense paid night at Hotel Sutter. (We hit our out-of-pocket maximums a long time ago!)

My mom flew in on Saturday night and got right to work lightening our load. We drove her straight to the hospital and dropped her off to take on night duty with William and most of Sunday as well. And last night, while Ryan was at the hospital, we stayed up until 1 AM talking and rearranging furniture. It's what we do.

With the anticipation of a soon-to-be radioactive son, his ongoing fatigue, and the ever-increasing energy and noise levels of his brothers, we are trying to figure out how to reconfigure the bedrooms and playroom to give William his own room. It feels like a daunting task when all I want to do is sit back and rest for a few days before we head back into the hospital. If only I could just wiggle my nose....

A few months ago I received a collection of inspirational quotes from a friend who has lived through the ups and downs of having a son with cancer. I pause to even say "the ups", but there are some; they are nestled inside the strength we gain, the people we meet, the lessons we learn. I keep these quotations next to my bed because that's where I do the most crying and soul searching. Well, there and in my car, but I shouldn't be reading while driving. I pulled them out to read again last night. I wasn't crying, just needing a feel good read. Here are a few that I like today:

"Enjoy the little things in life... for one day you'll look back and realize they were the big things."

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain."

"Peace. It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart."

"Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy marshmallows, which are kinda the same thing."


  1. Hooray for your mom-moving furniture (and having the extra space for that option) will be a blessing! You will be an organized duo for getting William ready to for what might be next. (Do you feel kind of like getting the nursery ready for a post-hospital stay?) Now if only I could be there to help manage the boy brood with cutting, pasting and games, we could be the dynamic trio. Our thoughts and prayers are with you all. Today is oficially a snow day-Chad couldn't get to Blackfoot-hiways are all closed. The superintendent cancelled the teacher workday today too-just too much snow and wind. On Thanksgiving we should have a high of 8, and a low of -15!! Happy Thanksgiving in Idaho. We've been invited to eat with the Stosich's-Stacy's new family in IF. Glad we don't have to travel far- just back to the old neighborhood. LUVS--

  2. Dancing in the rain always reminds me of that night at your house during summer break sometime before your mission. It started pouring and we went out with all the reckless abandon of youth and danced until we were soaked. It's one of my favorite memories with one of my favorite friends.

  3. Enjoy your wonderful, amazing mom! We liked the quotes. I can apply them to our little 8 almost 9 year old boy with autism. There are gifts along the way that cannot be measured by the world. Nevertheless, they are there to enjoy and cherish, if we pause to take some extra glimpses and views. God wants us to have a different perspective, experience than we anticipated. It's tough going, I know, but you are doing it every day, every moment. Just try to pause to get a nap once and a while so you can see clearer when you wake up! We love you! Maryan and Joseph

  4. You are such an inspiration. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, feelings and quotes. You are such wonderful, loving parents. We pray for you all daily. Hope you have a nice Thanksgiving.

    With Love,

    The Carrs