Why can't life just be like a DVD player? Pause in the moments of pure joy, rewind the decadent desserts over and over again, fast forward through the ugly hair days, and just eject when we're ready to switch it up!
Our family is not the only one going through trials and heartache right now. Some days it seems like there are extra doses of challenges being handed out to everyone, but other times, I think I'm just a bit hyper-sensitive right now to the burdens others have too. This is good--the awareness part, not the extra challenges. (Except I could then argue about the good that comes when we overcome our challenges....) I have started to look at people differently and wonder what mountains they're climbing, heartaches they're feeling, hardships they're enduring. Trials can never be compared because we all have individual circumstances, but I'm grateful for the ones I have because I have felt comfort and peace with things I never thought I could handle.
But, right now, I think it stinks and it's hard for everybody and I wish we all had a fast forward button on life sometimes!
A while ago, someone anonymously left a gift for me on the doorstep. It was a necklace with a silver disc that reads, "Be Still." She included a card and wrote of a friend who had a child with a serious illness and every time things got really tough and she thought she couldn't take anymore, the thought would come to her "Be Still" and she would be comforted to know all is in God's hands and He loves us and will help us. I wear this necklace often and it helps me with my perspective and to also remind me that time is a gift and not a burden. (Although some nights bedtime cannot come fast enough!) Thank you, "friend".
I spend plenty of time wishing away this trial. It's no fun and it takes it's toll on our family in many ways, but I wouldn't trade the faith that's been strengthened, the patience that's been tried, the understanding that's been broadened, the testimony that's been deepened, or the love that's increased. Sometimes the tracking is off and the big picture is a little fuzzy, but with a few adjustments, a little common sense, a bang or two to the side, the picture comes into focus and I can sit back and breathe. Just breathe.
Your post made me think of this poem so I thought I'd pass it on.
ReplyDeleteI cannot know the future,
nor the path I shall have trod.
But by that inward vision,
which points the way to God.
I could not glimpse the beauty
or joy for me in store,
Lest patience ne'er restrain me
from thrusting wide the door.
I would not part the curtains
or cast aside the veil,
Else sorrows that await me
might make my courage fail.
I'd rather live not knowing,
just doing my small mite.
I'd rather walk by faith with God
than try alone the light.
- Sister Ida Allredge
thanks so much, julie, for keeping us all updated. you are amazing and you all continue to be in my prayers. love you!
ReplyDeleteDearest Julie, Do you remember this one -- key line from a solo sung in church the Sunday after you were born, but you and Christine and Mom were still in the hospital? "I do not pray to understand, but only to know that Thou are there, holding my hand." Love, Dad
ReplyDeleteIt was good to see sweet William singing it up in the car as a happy 8 year old boy. I love reading your words. You bring such perspective into my life- you are enriching my life- I just feel bad you are having to endure such a trial to do that. YOu are in our prayers.
ReplyDeleteAudrey
May the DVD player only play sweet movies of your boys singing and playing together! And you and Ryan keep on being sweethearts. And Grandma and Grandpa keep on getting to come and play and have fun times. Maybe it's even a DVR player where you can pause live action and then review it when you have time, or the heart to do it. We are with in everyday in our thoughts and prayers. We want to be with you as soon as we can again. Hearts to you all-Remae/Mom/Grandma
ReplyDeleteI came across your blog last week and wanted to read more and keep up to date with your family. Today's post seemed particularly applicable to my life. Be Still, what a profound thought. Trials will come, but they are in God's hands. Thank you. It is amazing how when we are going through our own trials, we can help other go through theirs. Thank you.
ReplyDelete