Waiting Through Surgery

William was in great spirits this morning and simply commented about last night's festivities being fine "except the tube part wasn't fun". Oh, how I love a good anxiety medication! He sat in the playroom doing sand art up until they had his bed waiting for him in the hallway. Here is a shot of his art. It's a picture of him on the operating table with the two surgeons and the overhead lights shinning on him. I guess I'm safe in saying he is handling this all quite well. He's had enough anesthesia over the past few months from his initial tumor biopsy to several bone marrow biopsies that he has no fear as long as he knows he'll be asleep and won't feel or remember anything.

We've been waiting for about 6 hours and anticipate a call from the nurse any time now to update us. We've felt amazingly calm and have been hanging out in his empty hospital room. We just got kicked out and moved over to his room in the PICU, but it's all good and way better than a stuffy, crowded, smelly, little waiting room. I'm trying not to watch the clock or stare at my phone, but I must admit I jump every time I here it beep with incoming texts or emails. In any case, we told the doctors/nurses not to worry about us because we prefer they focus on William and get around to us when it's all over. I can't say enough how confident and peaceful we feel about their abilities and their concern for William's well being.

I think about faith quite frequently and have blogged about it on several occasions. I've felt my faith grow and change and strength through this whole process. On Monday, as we left the surgeon's office, I thought about my faith that God truly hears my prayers, knows me and my deepest desires and why, out of all the children on earth, wants my William to beat the ugly odds against him. I listened to a wonderful lesson in church a couple weeks ago about faith that deepened my understanding that he cares about each of us individually and we are each loved in ways we can't possibly understand with our finite minds. I loved this quote the instructor shared. (Thanks, Nicole).

"Do you believe that the Savior will really do for you what he has said he will do? That he can ease the sting of loneliness and enable you to deal with that haunting sense of inadequacy? That he will help you forgive? That he can fill you with optimism and hope? That he will help you resist your greatest temptation and tame your most annoying weakness? That he will respond to your deepest longing? That he is the only source of comfort, strength, direction, and peace that will not change, will not betray you, and will never let you down?" (Sheri Dew, "This Is a Test. It Is Only a Test." BYU Women's Conference. 1998).

I do believe this and I do believe in miracles at His hand. I know he will do things for others as much as he will do things for me. I can't express in words enough gratitude to my Savior and the blessings he has granted us and for all the thoughts, prayers, and fasting that has occurred in our behalf from all of you. They are powerful. We have felt our burdens lightened and peace in our souls in ways I can't describe. We have faith that all will work out fine, but it's the time frame we're still a little fuzzy on. That's where I must remember that the Lord works miracles in His own time and His timing is perfect.